


Kid AU

by orphan_account



Category: Yes Minister
Genre: Gen, Kid Fic, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-12
Updated: 2011-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-03 17:46:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11537283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	Kid AU

It wasn’t the warmest of days they could have chosen for the inter-school football league. Most of the boys weren’t playing after all and had been dragged down here in coats and scarves to watch boys they didn’t even know kicking each other’s shins in.

It was no wonder most had resorted to playing with marbles on the hard grass or with jacks and balls.

One little boy had escaped the philistine madness to a quiet spot in some trees where he could see the pitch but not be seen himself. With a large tome open on his lap, every line in Latin but with an English translation beneath, Bernard pulled his Chelsea scarf tighter.

“Why couldn’t this be a proper football match with proper teams...?” He wondered out loud, shivering and pulling the book closer as if it was his only friend.

Pouring over the book while still shivering, Bernard wished he hadn’t forgotten his coat.

He heard a crack.

Bernard jumped up, diving behind a nearby bush and crouching with the book held close and tight to his chest.

Someone was swinging a stick around, cracking it against tree trunks and brushing branches aside. Bernard watched him approach, sitting in Bernard’s spot at the base of the tree.

He was from another school, brown blazer and grey trousers under his coat and scarf.

 _“At least he gets trousers...”_ Bernard stared down at his pink knees and white legs. They were so thin his socks were falling down.

The other boy looked bigger, tougher. His hair was a mess but he must have been from a better school. It was quite a surprise to Bernard who expected an older, more privileged boy to care of himself better.

“Uh... excuse me...” Bernard stood up, book still gripped to his chest.

“Huh?” The boy looked up at him, innocence in his eyes. He looked quite comfortable resting there in Bernard’s spot.

“That’s uh... my spot...” Bernard admitted weakly.

The other boy stared, then looked down and pointed to the floor.

“Oh, but if you want it that’s alright!” He was so easily intimidated by everyone.

“Oh no. If it’s your’s come sit here again.” The boy got up and gestured to the spot.

“No, no... It’s fine...” Bernard screwed his nicely polished shoes into the ground, sighing as he remembered his mummy telling him not to do that.

“No, I insist. I didn’t realise.” The boy insisted Bernard sit.

Bernard shook his head.

“Come on...” The boy moved a little closer but Bernard sprung away, tensed like an animal about to run. “I’m not going to hurt you.” The boy said, a little confused by Bernard’s reaction.

“Just... sit there... I don’t mind. I’ll find somewhere else...” Bernard looked around.

“No, no. It’s your’s.”

“No, I insist.”

“No, I insist.”

“What is going on out here?”

The pair jumped as a third voice entered.

Bernard stared up at the even posher private school boy, short slightly fluffy hair and smart grey blazer, blue trousers, black coat and even a tie. It made his own shirt and shorts look pathetic.

The three stared at each other for a moment.

“Well?” The new  boy asked.

“We were just having a disagreement over this seat. Come on, sit down, little guy...” The messy boy offered.

“It’s alright.” Bernard remained polite as he had been taught.

“What’s your name then?”

“...Bernard.”

“I’m Jim.” Jim held out his muddy hand, stick still in the other.

Bernard took it but let Jim do all the shaking.

The third boy approached, coming closer to Bernard and staring down.

“Where’s your coat?”

“...I forgot it... sir...” It felt right to call him that for some reason.

The older boy cocked his head and smiled, something slightly unbefitting but it made Bernard smile too.

He shrugged off his own coat, putting it around Bernard’s shoulders and doing it up.

Bernard gasped.

“I’m Humphrey. You must be freezing to death out here, Bernard.” He said, a strange compassion in his voice that Bernard wasn’t used to from other students.

“Oh, uh...” Bernard blushed, or that may have been the cold, and fumbled over his words for a minute.

“Quite alright. I guess we all came here to escape that barbaric display out there...” Humphrey stared out at the pitch with contempt.

“I quite like football actually...” Jim kicked a nearby stone towards Humphrey. “I support Aston Villa as a matter of fact.”

“Nuh-uh. Chelsea are better!” Bernard couldn’t stop himself saying it, blushing and retracting the comment. “I mean... gosh, sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you...”

“It’s alright. Come on, let’s sit down.” Jim gestured back to the floor and let himself drop there. Humphrey sat down beside him and Bernard squeezed in between, warmed considerably as the pair closed in.

“What book do you have there, Bernard?” Humphrey asked, reaching to take it from him. Humphrey needed both arms to lift it because of its size and weight.

“Oh. It’s the works of Edgar Allen Poe. It’s twice the size because it’s in both Latin and English.” Bernard reached for it, picking it with just one arm.

“Do you read a lot of books like this, Bernard?” Humphrey asked with an interested smile.

“Mm...” Bernard looked a little frightened as Jim leaned in, opening the book to wear Bernard’s bookmark was.

“Whoa...” Jim marvelled at it, trying to read the Latin lines and failing.

“How old are you, Bernard?” Humphrey asked, finding the Latin considerably easier.

“11, sir.”

“You don’t have to call me sir.” Humphrey couldn’t help but smile at it anyway.

“Sorry, sir- Oh gosh, sorry...” Bernard blushed again.

“I’m 14.” Jim announced, broad grin on his face.

“13.” Humphrey said.

“Wow...” Bernard had to marvel before closing his mouth, wriggling uncomfortably between the two far large and older boys.

“I can’t believe they make you wear shorts in this weather.” Jim frowned at Bernard’s bare legs, white from exposure to the cold for hours on end.

“It’s the uniform...” Bernard admitted.

“Looks like another match has finished...” Humphrey remarked offhand, looking over at the pitch where Jim’s school were parading around. “Typical...” The boys were running round with their shirts off, jumping on one another.

“They look like they’re playing rugby...” Bernard giggled to himself as they all dived into a massive scrum.

“I don’t get rugby.” Jim began. “Where’s the rug? Or the bee for that matter?”

Bernard shoved a cold hand in his mouth as he broke into more high-pitched giggles. 

“It was invented at a school in rugby. I can’t believe you didn’t know that.” Humphrey smiled.

“Oh...” Jim scratched his head, hair even more of a mess. “You two live round here then?” He asked.

“Mm... I go to the grammar school.” Bernard answered.

“Oh. I know there. It’s down the road from my private school.” Jim tapped his badge proudly.

“I do not live round here. Since I attend a public school I travel up here each term and stay at the school.” Humphrey announced, wondering if it might impress the other two.

“You... live away from home?” Bernard asked, scared by the thought.

“Mm.”

“Wow. You’re really brave...”

“Well you get used to it. I live reasonably close, only three quarters of an hour away by train anyway.” Humphrey admitted.

They all shivered as a cold wind whipped past, smacking each of them in the face.

“Oh stuff it all...” Jim reached into his coat pocket. “Hot chocolate?” He pulled out a thermos flask from somewhere, surprising the other two.

Pouring it, he took a sip himself before passing it along.

“Oh my, thank you very much.” Bernard nodded to him, before also taking a sip.

“Thank you.” Humphrey whispered, still a little surprised by the size of Jim’s coat pockets.

“It’s nothing. We’re friends after all.”

“Friends...” Humphrey and Bernard murmured together, both obviously having similar luck with people. Jim seemed far more contemporary and affable.

“Hey, we should all meet up again when it’s warmer. There’s a small lake, well big pond, in the forest near my house where we can all go swimming. Would you two like that?” Jim asked, excited already.

Bernard stared then nodded.

“Of course.” Humphrey agreed also.

After finished their hot chocolate, the three wandered back to the football fields in case they got caught.

It was only goodbye for now after all.


End file.
